


A Feather In The Wind

by adr3stia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Afterlife, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24203899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adr3stia/pseuds/adr3stia
Summary: "Should I fall out of love, my fire in the lightTo chase a feather in the wind?"Alexander remembered everything.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	A Feather In The Wind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CastielWho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWho/gifts).



Alexander remembered everything.

He remembered those ten steps, the cacophony of thoughts racing back and forth through his mind, trumped by the settled certainty that Burr wouldn't shoot.

He remembered his opponent's stoic and cold face as he fired his gun, the bullet flying so fast and yet so slowly towards him.

More than anything, he remembered the pain. Not the one his wound had caused - he'd been through enough during his days serving to be able to endure that. What he almost couldn't bear was that feeling of utter betrayal twisting his insides as he stared, almost in disbelief, at Burr, who remained blank. He remembered the deep red on his hands as he tried applying pressure to his ribs. He hardly recalled being rowed back across the river only to wake up in a bed.

What he distinctively remembered was Eliza's tear-streaked face as she took his hand in hers one last time, a soft smile on her face in a failed attempt to hold back further tears. For a moment, he could have sworn she looked just like she did the day they met, years that felt like centuries before. He remembered feeling so tired. He had grown accustomed over the years to the feeling of exhaustion, but strangely, this felt different.

He weakly smiled at his children huddled around the bed he lay in, and he closed his eyes. He just wanted to rest, just for a moment.

He did not remember how he had found himself waking up alone in the middle of an empty room.

So he started walking. He aimlessly walked for what felt like hours, not even considering the possibility of stopping. He knew that if he had stood still, he would have started thinking.

As soon as he had opened his eyes, the moment the realization had hit him, his mind had started racing - at least that hadn't changed.

Two words were ringing through his head.

_It's over._

_It's over, after everything I've been through it's over. There's so much I had to do, so much I haven't done yet._

_What about Eliza, my children, my legacy- I couldn't fix it, I couldn't make it right-_

"Alex?" His thoughts were interrupted by a voice, so distant and yet so familiar. When he turned around, he couldn't help smiling.

"Hello, John." He was even more beautiful than he remembered. Pangs of longing tore at his insides, but he didn't dare move, not after seeing John's panicked expression as he stared at him.

"What- You're not supposed to be here, Alex. It's- God, it's been-"

"Too long?" suggested Alexander with a small smile.

"No, Alexander. It hasn't been long enough."

"You didn't miss me?" John glared at him. _Some things never change._

"You can't be here, you shouldn't-" He took a deep breath, but his voice cracked anyway when he spoke up. "You were supposed to have more time."

"And you weren't?" Alexander's eyes glistened. "What about you, John? Your life, your plans, your ambitions, what about-"

_Us_. A simple word left unsaid weighed on Alexander's tongue. His voice broke as he shook his head slightly, trying to fight back the urge to let the tears fall freely.

In a matter of seconds, John had put his arms around him, and, just like what used to happen back at the camp, Alexander let his guard down.

He told him everything. He couldn't help staring at John as he spoke, trying to catch his reactions. When he expected judgemental looks, he held his gaze, stern but understanding. When he anticipated John to yell at him, he tightened his hold around him. John waited for him to finish before he softly spoke.

"I'm proud of you, my dear boy."

Alexander almost laughed. "Didn't you listen to how I destroyed my life?"

"Alexander." He held his gaze firmly. "Can't you see it? You've made mistakes, but you've done so many great things, you proved them all wrong, just like I knew you would. Forgive yourself, Alex. Lord knows you deserve it." Alexander could only stare at him for a few moments.

Suddenly, he chuckled. John tilted his head. "Is something funny?"

"It's nothing," he said dismissively. "It's just I had forgotten the exact shade of your eyes."

John smiled softly. Alexander hadn't realized how much he had missed it. "I've missed you, little lion." He whispered, placing his lips over Alexander's. "Welcome home."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is the first fic I publish, so constructive criticism is more than welcome (although please be gentle, I'm sensitive).
> 
> If any of you are interested, I'm working on a much bigger fic with lots of angst and drama. I'm not sure when it will be ready, but it's coming.
> 
> I hope you're doing well!


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